Going through a divorce? Stuck in a bad marriage? Just been diagnosed with a serious illness? Lost your job? Bills piling up? Lost a loved one? Lonely? Life is tough.
Looking for happiness?
Happiness Not From Possessing Money, Things Or Fame
Like almost everyone else, you probably believe that you will be happy if you have money or things money can buy; or if you are famous. Unsurprisingly, one of the most-watched programmes on American television in the 1980s was Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
However, latest scientific research has busted this myth. In “The Path Taken: Consequences of Attaining Intrinsic and Extrinsic Aspirations in Post-College Life” published in the June 2009 issue of Journal of Research in Personality, Professors Deci, Ryan and Niemiec found that those who aspire for money, fame or image are less happy when they attain it.
The same holds true at the macro level. With data collected from 37 countries (developed and developing, rich and poor, ex-communist and capitalist) over time periods of up to 34 years, Professor Easterlin and other economists presented evidence in their article “The Happiness-Income Paradox Revisited” in the December 28, 2010 issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America that over the long-term happiness does not increase as a country’s income rises.
These findings confirm the wisdom of King Solomon of ancient Israel. Despite his widespread fame and immense wealth, he said this about fame: “I once saw everyone in the world follow a young leader who came to power after the king was gone. His followers could not even be counted. But years from now, no one will praise him—this makes no more sense than chasing the wind.” (Bible, Ecclesiastes 4:15-16) As for money, this was what he said: “If you love money and wealth, you will never be satisfied with what you have. This doesn’t make sense either.” (Bible, Ecclesiastes 5:10)
To be happy, remind yourself that, as Jesus said, “life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” (Bible, Luke 12:15)
Happiness From Giving
Another conventional thinking about happiness is that you will be happier if you get what you want. If you get the love of the girl of your dream, you will be happier. If you get respect from your peers, you will be happier. If you get money or things from others, you will be happier. If you get good service from others, you will be happier.
Jesus’ radical teaching was the exact opposite – that you will be happier if you give: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving.” (Bible, Act 20:35)
2,000 years later, science caught up with this truth. Professor Norton of Harvard University and two other researchers, in “Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness” published in the March 21, 2008 issue of Science, concluded, after conducting a nationally representative survey study of Americans and a field study of Canadians, that those who spent money on other people experienced greater happiness than those who spent money on themselves.
Expanding on this study, scientists from various countries analysed survey data from 136 countries and conducted experiments in Canada and Uganda on the relationship between spending money and happiness. In their recent paper entitled “Prosocial Spending and Well-Being: Cross-Cultural Evidence for a Psychological Universal” published in the January 2013 issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, they found that in diverse cultural and economic contexts spending money on others has a consistent and causal impact on happiness. They concluded that there might be a universal rule in psychology that human beings around the world derive emotional benefits from using their financial resources to help others and that this might be deeply ingrained in human nature.
To be happy, give. Give your love to others, give respect to others, give money and things to others, give good service to others. Humans are wired to experience happiness in giving.
Happiness From Being With God
It is the unique revelation of Christianity that God is love. God created man to have a loving relationship with him. Therefore it is inbuilt in man that he can only be happy by being with God. King David of ancient Israel who knew this secret of happiness sang: “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure… You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures for evermore.” (Bible, Psalms 16:8-11)
But how to be with God?
About 2,000 years ago, God came to earth as man. His name was Jesus. He grew up in a lowly family in a seedy little town. As a child, he amazed religious teacher with his understanding of God and his word.
At thirty, he went about proclaiming the coming of the kingdom of God and teaching what man must do to be with God and enjoy a life of happiness. You may have heard of these high ideals: “If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also.” “Love your enemies.” “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.” “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” “The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.” “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Well, they are just a sampling of the great teachings that originated from Jesus. So effective are the teachings of Jesus that many know about, live or aspire to live by them although they may not believe in or even know about him.
Through the centuries, the teachings of Jesus have transformed lives for the better, mended broken families, and inspired thousands to open schools to educate the poor; to build hospitals, to provide homes for the orphans and destitute in slums and remote villages around the world, to risk their lives to care for the injured in war zones.
Jesus cares for you and gives you everything you need when you turn to him.
When you are burdened and stressed out, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
When you are troubled and paralysed by fear, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
When you are sick and in need, Jesus says, “Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.”
When you are lonely in this cold cruel world, Jesus says, “I am with you always.”
When your life is empty, Jesus says, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”
When you are depressed, Jesus says, “I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”
Today, those who turn to Jesus experience the reality of his promises.
Jesus revealed that God loves man, that he is God, and that he came as a man to suffer and die to draw man back to God. He foretold that he would rise from the dead.
Jesus healed the sick, liberated the demon-possessed, opened the eye of the blind, made the lame to walk, and raised the dead. He uplifted the poor and the despised, comforted the depressed, and fed the hungry masses.
He had no money or material possession, and yet for all the good that he had done, he asked for none.
He exposed the hypocrisy of the politicians and religious leaders, and their corruption of God’s law. They wanted him dead.
Under cover of darkness, the religious leaders led a detachment of soldiers and police to arrest him. Throughout the night, they interrogated him; looking for something to charge him with. In between, they mocked him, spat at him, slapped him and beat him.
At first light, they hurried him to trial before Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor of Judea. They charged him with two counts of subversion – forbidding Jews to pay taxes to the emperor and setting himself up as a king. After hearing the case, Pilate declared, “I find no basis for an accusation against this man.” But they were insistent. Quickly, they framed a new charge against him – insurrection – stirring up the people throughout Judea starting from Galilee. When Pilate learned that he was from Galilee, and therefore under the jurisdiction Herod Antipas, the Jewish king of Galilee and Perea, he sent him off to Herod.
Herod too didn’t find him guilty of any of the charges, and sent him back to Pilate. Pilate then announced that as he was innocent and would release him. But the mob clamoured for his death. Fearing a riot, Pilate gave the verdict they demanded.
The soldiers scourged him. They pressed a crown of thorns on his head, spat on him, mocked him and struck him. They laid a cross on him to carry up a hill where he was to be crucified. He carried the cross until he came out of the city. Then he stumbled under its weight. The soldiers compelled a bystander to take over.
Upon reaching the hill, they hammered nails through his hands and feet to affix him onto the cross, and raised it up to hang him on it by the nails. As if the physical torture was not enough, the religious leaders taunted him. Yet, in the midst of all these sufferings, he pleaded, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Before the sun set, he gave a loud cry and died. A solder came forward and pierced his side with a spear. Blood and water came out.
His disciples took him down and buried him.
Just as he had foretold, after three days, he rose from the dead, and appeared to many. Forty days later, he ascended to heaven in the presence of many witnesses.
His resurrection is a historical fact.
First, his disciples who had witnessed it preached and wrote about it. Their writings survive and appear as the New Testament of the Bible. Preaching or writing about his resurrection was not something glamorous; rather it was something suicidal. It was outlawed by the authorities. The disciples were beaten, imprisoned and killed for doing it. None will suffer and die for a lie. If he had not risen from the dead, the disciples would not have suffered and died to preach or write about it.
Second, his resurrection was not only documented by his disciples; it was also independently reported by contemporary historians who were not Christians. One of them was Flavius Josephus. Despite his despise for Christians, around 93 A.D. this famous historian recorded this in his work “Antiquities of the Jews”: About this time there lived Jesus, a wise man if indeed one ought to call him a man. For he was one who wrought surprising feats and was a teacher of such people as accept the truth gladly. He won over many Jews and many of the Greeks. He was the Messiah. When Pilate, upon hearing him accused by men of the highest standing among us, had condemned him to be crucified, those who had in the first place come to love him did not cease. On the third day he appeared to them restored to life. For the prophets of God had prophesied these and myriads of other marvellous things about him. And the tribe of the Christians, so called after him, has still up to now, not disappeared.
The life, the works, the teachings and the resurrection of Jesus prove that he is God as he has revealed.
Therefore, to be with God, you must believe in Jesus: “Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also…’ (Bible, John 14:1-3)
To believe in Jesus is to believe that he is God, to entrust your life to him, and to obey him. When you do that, Jesus is your Lord. Your life is no longer your own. You no longer live for yourself. You live for Jesus.
When that happens, you will not just be happy but your happiness will be full because your life will be fruitful, your wishes will come true, and he will love you: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you… As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love… These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (Bible, John 15:4-11)
Sure, there is no denying that you can be happy without Jesus. You are happy when you pick up the key to a new Ferrari. You are happy when you have sex. You are happy when you snort cocaine.
But there are great differences between such happiness and the happiness that Jesus offers. First, such happiness is transient. Because it fades after a while, you crave for more of the same experience or for more varied experiences. Second, such happiness is dependent on favourable circumstances. You will not be happy when your red-hot Ferrari crashes, or when you can’t get lucky, or when you are broke.
The happiness that comes from being with God is permanent and is independent of favourable circumstances. In the worst of times, Habakkuk, a prophet of God, could declare: “Though the fig-tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the sheepfold and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.”(Bible, Habakkuk 3:17-19) Despite the hardships and persecutions dished out to him as a missionary, Paul, an apostle of Jesus, said, “In all my trouble I am still very happy.” (Bible, Corinthians 7:4) This happiness lifts man to extraordinary heights of greatness. In spite of their own poverty, the Christians in the province of Macedonia dug deep into their pockets to help those suffering famine in Jerusalem: “My friends, we want you to know that the churches in Macedonia have shown others how kind God is. Although they were going through hard times and were very poor, they were glad to give generously. They gave as much as they could afford and even more, simply because they wanted to. They even asked and begged us to let them have the joy of giving their money for God’s people. And they did more than we had hoped.” (Bible, 2 Corinthians 8:1-4)